CBCC Attends the Hellfire Gala
Updated: Jul 6, 2021
In collaboration with GC52, Brad and Lisa report on the planet-sized X-Men party event of the year as if they were in attendance.
When stars align, interesting things occur! The Hellfire Gala has come and gone, but that doesn't mean we have to halt the celebrations. After months of anticipation and promotion, the planet-size X-Men party erupted in grand, glorious fashion. All the celebrities came out for the shindig, but we quickly learned that the Gala was more than an excuse for the merry mutants to doll themselves up in the finest Jumbo Carnation duds. As the dance floor calmed down, the terror and awe took off, revealing the Hellfire Gala as the first stop along the way to Jonathan Hickman's new wave Inferno.
However, before the X-Men's world goes up in flames, Comic Book Couples Counseling wanted to take an extra moment and appreciate the June festivities. To help us in that matter, we hired our own Jumbo Carnation to deck us out with some incredible new lewks. Elliot Dickson has provided CBCC with numerous rad designs in the past, and these might be our favorite.
In addition to placing us on the Gala's green carpet, Elliot also supplied us with two phenomenal character sheets explaining our righteous abilities, which may also suggest how Elliot came to delivering the style he did. Seriously, we think Abundance and Delight would be quite handy in any future X-Men brawl. Hey, Quiet Council, give us a call. We're ready.
Elliot Dickson is an incredible artist and a beautiful friend of the podcast. If you like what you see here, please be sure to visit his TeePublic page, where you might also find some fantastic CBCC-related merchandise.
We could not be happier, and these outfits arrived just in time, as we were invited to cover the Hellfire Gala for Channel GC52 (aka the Gate Crashers news network). Alongside some other wonderful members of the comic book journalist community, we wrote a piece depicting the Gala as if we were reporters on the ground. We were assigned Marauders #21, and we threw ourselves into the task with great gusto.
Please be sure to read the article in total, but if you're looking for just a taste of the silliness within, below you'll find our coverage. Yes, Brad was there to witness Emma Frost's great shaming in front of Doctor Doom, and Lisa tossed some dice next to the ever-lovin' Thing, Ben Grimm.
Truly, these 500 words were a giggly joy to collaborate on. We wrote them on our back porch while sipping beers and shooting stupid ideas back and forth. Our great thanks to Dan and Reagan for allowing us to participate.
Dan: Well let’s kick it over to Brad and Lisa!
A camera cuts to Brad, his head turned over his shoulder, away from the viewer. As the image comes into focus, Brad swivels and smiles face-front. Behind him, the Gala roars with life. Doctor Doom saunters across the frame. We hear his laughter, and Brad attempts to talk loudly over it.
Brad: Oh my! Stars of the night sky tend to keep to fixed orbits and never interfere with one another. Things tend to operate that way in normal celebrity shindigs, but not tonight, and probably not any night here on Krakoa. These stars cannot help themselves from bashing into each other. Sadly, friends, you just missed the Latverian ruler, Mr. Doo – Doctor Doom mockingly relish an encounter between Emma Frost and a Shi’ar delegate. We’re not exactly sure what was said, but based on Steve Rogers’ expression as he gulped down his drink, it was a sick burn indeed.
Tonight’s Hellfire Gala has brought many oddballs into confrontations, and I’ve been trying to sidle into their personal space. Earlier, I came so close to catching an uncomfortable exchange between a bedazzled Charles Xavier and a stone-faced Reed Richards. There was no stretch to Mr. Fantastic’s grin as he whispered seemingly harsh words into Chuck’s ear. The professor had to collect himself before returning some severe shade to Richards’ son, Franklin. I don’t quite understand all the context to their chatter, but Xavier was certainly spitting some vicious innuendo.
However, the real party is the one happening outside the party. Let’s cut to my co-host Lisa as she gets the scoop on this Gala’s hidden nooks and crannies.
The camera cuts to an outdoor patio. Lisa is huddled around Ben Grimm, Bobby Drake, Lucas Bishop, and others.
Ben Grimm: It’s Gamblin’ Time!
Lisa and Bobby throw their hands in the air as dice hit the floor, and that’s when Lisa spots the camera and adjusts her dress. She picks a microphone off the ground and establishes her game-face, but a smile breaks through every other word.
Lisa: Hi, Brad! So, sorry. Just rolling some bones and making myself comfortable. As they say, when in Krakoa…right. But as I’m sure you were saying, with parties as wild as the Hellfire Gala, the real adventure is happening off the dance floor.
I noticed our pal Ben Grimm needed a little air – trouble in Fantastic paradise, perhaps. I trailed him outside, where he immediately invested himself in Pyro’s side hustle. The Thing’s an inside numbers man, but he hasn’t crapped out yet.
Brad: You don’t really sound that familiar with the game.
Lisa: Whatever. My actual wild card is the Zoom recorder tucked in my bra strap. Pyro spills beans when he’s rollin’. And I think his dice are loaded. Don’t tell Bishop.
Camera cuts back to Brad. He and Conan O’Brien are ogling Emma as she ascends the stairs.
Brad: Yes, well, um, there’s a lot to see here, and I think the surprises are only starting to reveal themselves.